by Mark Ibigbami GreatMark | Nov 9, 2017 | Uncategorized |
I thought he didn’t want anyone to know about his relationship that was why his status on his Facebook page reads “complicated.” The story of his life’s comebacks is worthy of read! Henry and I were course mates in the university and fortunately we had our one year youth service (NYSC) in the same state. We were quite close until he traveled abroad for his Masters degree.
After 10 years, we met at an international conference, and trust me it was a great reunion. While we sat at lunch, we reminisced the past and I asked a couple of questions that had bordered me. One of such was, if the relationship status on his Facebook page which read, ‘complicated’, was the true reflection of his marital status, or just a facade or white-wash.
He chuckled and said, “Oh, you expected I should have started a family right?” Of course dude, I retorted! Henry bowed his head low in silence, and then he broke down in tears. It seemed my question brought back painful memories. He mustered the strength to speak, and then he said, “my relationship with ladies made my life complicated, so complicated, he muttered regrettably.
He began to narrate his ordeals with relationships; how he had been deceived by unassuming ladies and how he made several mistakes that has caused him his happiness and peace of mind.
He talked about four different online dating relationships that had started well and looked promising but later got fractious when he discovered he had been swindled of several thousands of dollars. Unfortunately, before he realized that those online dating were illusory, he had spent four years with four different ladies, whose trades were to feast on gullible and lustful men.
After so much setbacks, even from those beautiful sisters in his church, many who have a form of religion but are also desperate to make quick fortune through any means possible. So, he had thought he would finally find a homely and God-fearing lover who would help put an end to his quest for women. Of course, he found love in Stella, a beautiful and a devout lover of God, who hails from the Eastern part of Nigeria.
Two years after their marriage, Stella filed for divorce and she left with their first son, Henry Jnr. According to her, she could no longer endure being under the authority of a man, who is not capable to cater for her growing needs. “She wanted to pattern her life after her friends, who were single parents, and who not only enjoy social welfare and government protection, but also benefit from the benevolence of unscrupulous men. This is a sad trend here”, he lamented.
Besides, Henry’s status may have indicated “complicated” in relationship, but this is also true for his entire life. Even though he had a good job and lived in a mortgage house, yet his life was characterized by so many setbacks, from career, to personal, and family life. I wouldn’t like to bore you with much stories but the summary is that Henry was never happy living. He consistently feigned being well.
His story reminds me of the man called Jabez. He was born in pains; and named sorrow-maker. The circumstances of his birth was the reason for his setbacks, until he cried out. Rather than remain in the unfortunate mold, he prayed to the barrier breaker. “Jabez cried to the God of Israel, saying, Oh, that You would bless me and enlarge my border…”(1 Chronicles 4:10).
We all make wrong choices; those things we knew were not the best. Many times we hear voices like, ‘Too bad, you’ve made a mess of it…! Oftentimes, our guilt and thoughts about our failures bedevil us and hinders us from moving on or making new endeavors. But be encouraged, God is full of mercy. He doesn’t turn His back when we make mistakes, rather, He comes running to us and make miracles out of our mistakes.
I had several other discussions with Henry, and we had quality times sharing God’s word and praying together on his issues. I was glad he resolved to forgive his past and all those who had offended him, even his ex-wife. He surrendered his life to God, and he embraced the new life. That was the beginning of his turning point. Three years after, Henry is happily married with lovely twins, and a prospering career.
Whenever he calls me, he would say, “Guy, thank you for helping me find the center of my life!” You too can set your life right. “The purpose of loyalty to Christ, formed in the heart, confessed with the lips, is simply the center from which a man is to correct everything else in his life.” You need to find your center in order to correct your circumference!
All things works together for your good when you love the Lord. If you love Him, He can use your setbacks, what have left you lonely, and disappointed, to move you towards your destiny. God has a plan for our mistakes and setbacks. He will correct the complications, if we trust Him and surrender our struggles and burdens to Him.
You may think you have genuine reasons to settle where you are, or remain in the mold that the situation around you have created. Truth is, you can go further than the experts have told you. You can do yourself and your generation a favor by breaking out of that mold. You can defile the odd; You can start all over again!
There’s a potential in you that would cause new doors to be opened. Don’t accept excuses to settle where you are. YYou need that continued spark for excellence to over come all the blight of being ostracized. Don’t lose your fire! Yes we are winning!
GreatMark
by Mark Ibigbami GreatMark | Nov 2, 2017 | Uncategorized |
Oftentimes, for the purpose of self-justification, some enthusiastically quote this phrase, “The Bible says, ‘Heaven helps those who helps themselves.'” I have never seen this statement in the Bible, and besides, I do not accept its verity! The testimony of a King at the end of his rope is very instructive.
What I consider absolutely true is found in the account of King David after he escaped death. He said, “The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came over me; I was overcome by distress and sorrow. GOD is gracious—it is he who makes things right…GOD takes the side of the helpless; when I was at the end of my rope, He saved me.” (Psalm 116:1-6).
Anyone who call upon the Lord to deliver their souls from danger, and do so in absolute reliance on God will find him gracious and true to his promise. He rewards the effort of the humble, who has emptied himself of pride, and are lowly in their own eyes. They see their want, bewail their guilt, and thirst after a Redeemer.
I agree that there is a place of self-efforts. However, self determination, self-help or human skills and intelligence or even spiritual efforts like praying and fasting should not be seen as the end in itself; they are just means to an end. Such efforts will amount to futility if God does not approve of it!
For raising a family. If God be not acknowledged, we have no reason to expect his blessing; and the best-laid plans fail, unless he crowns them with success. 2. For the safety of a family or a city. Except the Lord keep the city, the watchmen, though they neither slumber nor sleep, wake but in vain; mischief may break out, which even early discoveries may not be able to prevent (Matthew Henry’s commentary on Psalm 127:1).
It is of his mercies that we are not consumed. The same God who out of his mercies can bless our efforts when we put our trust in Him is the same God that can frustrate our best efforts when we rely on our wit and strength.
The statement, “Heaven help those who help themselves”, is often used as an excuse to commit ungodly acts, and justify efforts put at solving problems, even when they are against both moral and spiritual laws. Heaven only helps the helpless!
You don’t have to get to the end of your rope before you call on God. Even after tieing a knot at the end of your rope, how long can you hang in there? Certainly, there is a limit to every man’s effort and an end to his endurance level.
Therefore, there is no time that is too late to seek God. Peradventure, you are at the end of your rope; all your efforts have failed, and you at the verge of giving up on life! God awaits your call. He can turn your mistakes to miracles, even right now!
God helps the helpless not the independent! He can pull you up again! Cease from your labour, and keep trusting God.
You are winning. Yes, we are winning!
GreatMark
by Mark Ibigbami GreatMark | Oct 25, 2017 | Uncategorized |
The number of those who have resolved to become ten times better than others, even in the midst of the challenging environment, is amazingly on the increase. They have shown that even in the midst of difficulties it is very rewarding to inculcate a winning culture.
It takes courage, faith, and perseverance to stand out for what is winsome. Excellence is a decision. It’s price is not money! There is no traffic jam on the road to excellence. Therefore, you can decide today to adopt a winning lifestyle, and spread the aroma of an adorable godly lifestyle. You can be ten times better!
YWAW warmly welcomes new members. We currently have more than 30 international and national individuals. Together we are a powerful tool for positive influence and for promoting a winning culture in every facets of life.
The group is open to individuals or groups who are committed to living and promoting a lifestyle of excellence through a flourishing partnership with God. We are the Daniel generation that believes that through a godly lifestyle we can be ten times better than our contemporaries.
YWAW AT THE OLD PEOPLE’S HOME
Benefits of becoming a member of YWAW:
As a member of the YWAW initiative you can benefit by:
- being part of a team that is committed to achieving, living and promoting excellence in all of life’s ramifications.
- benefit from motivational messages, insightful ideas, and empowerment programs that would help model a character that is fashioned after God, and a winning lifestyle.
- being part of our humanitarian projects within and outside the country, as well as having the privilege to contribute morally, spiritually and financially to the needs of the society and the world at large.
- building and leveraging your career by participating in career development programmes, social and community services, national and world events, and advocacy activities that will promote positive change.
- Benefiting from spiritual edification, capacity building activities, networking and sharing expertise with others on professional and personal levels.
- being part of a team that promotes godly purpose through a lifestyle of intercession, reconciliation, humanitarian service, social justice, and demonstration of love among people of all race and religion without prejudice, thereby building a better society.
Become an Author
YWAW welcomes writers and authors to contribute to the regular publications of informative, insightful articles on the website and the social media. We welcome stories, spiritual edifying articles, true-life experiences, testimonies, current affairs that would empower, inspire and motivate the viewers, as well as promote godliness and a winning culture.How do I become a member, part we or author?
To be part of this great movement, kindly apply for membership by filling the form on this link:
https://yeswearewinning.com/join-us/
You can be ten times better! Yes, we are winning!
GreatMark
by Mark Ibigbami GreatMark | Oct 24, 2017 | Uncategorized |
The news of a 40 year old man diving into the Lagos lagoon in a suicide endeavor was very disheartening for me. I wished he was alive to tell us why he chose to die in that manner. Could this be another case of frustration and hopelessness or is it a demonic manipulation? Search me!
A similar incident was recorded few months back, on March 19th 2017, to be precise. This ugly incident happened on the Lagos third mainland bridge where a medical doctor by name, Dr. Orji dived into the lagoon on a broad day light and died in the process. This incident was said to be a result of frustrations and depression.
On Friday, 20th October, 2017, Mr, Adekunle Oluseyi John, an native of Ondo State was said to have jumped into the lagoon from the new Lekki-Ikoyi bridge, after he pulled his clothes, and left some belongings including his mobile phone and ATM card at the point where he dived into the lagoon.
No official reasons has been alluded to this unfortunate act, however, it is may not be unconnected with psychological effects, such as depression or frustrations. For Dr. Orji, a phone call from an unknown person was said to have preceded his action. He was said to have ordered his driver to stop the car, and he got down and dived into the lagoon.
Every suicide crime is usually premeditated. Dr. Orji left a note with his house address, while Mr Adekunle took some time to remove his clothes and other belongings before he jumped into the lagoon. Thus, these persons must have thought about their action, and may have concluded that the only way was to stop living.
People who’ve survived suicide attempts have reported wanting not so much to die as to stop living, a strange dichotomy but a valid one nevertheless. Some proven reasons for suicidal include the following: depression, guilt, frustrations, psychotic reasons to mention a few.
There are so many cases of suicide attempts which are not in the news. The fact remains that someone dies of suicide every day. According to the Cleen Foundation, between 1994 and 2003, about 2, 305 suicide crimes were recorded in Nigeria.
Body of Dr. Orji after suicide.
What about the Lagos lagoon makes it suitable for suicide? Is there a diabolical attraction from the lagoon for those attempting suicide? I’m still wondering. Does the victim hope to draw much attention to their death by choosing to die in the lagoon? That’s not impossible, I think. Some people who commit suicide don’t usually want to die but do want to alert those around them that something is seriously wrong.
There is no doubt that the Lagos State Government is doing much to ensure sanity in the state. However, the mobile patrol team should be more frequent on the bridges, and also put up measures to cob activities that could endanger people’s lives. Also, the Lagos State Transport Management (LASTMA) should be at alert always to ensure vehicles packed on the bridges are closely monitored and towed quickly if found faulty.
Our religious organisations should devote more time to preaching hope rather than concentrate on “making bread out of stones.” A situation when someone who has a great need is squeezed to provide money in order to solve his problems can be very devastating. It is not impossible that Mr. Adekunle John has been to a church, or even many churches, where he was told to bring some money to get his problem solved. Not enough reasons for suicide though!
Our religious organisations should provide an effective counselling program that would help those who are discouraged to find hope in the midst of the hardship in the land. Furthermore, closer attention should be paid to members of our churches and mosque in order to have a more intimate knowledge of who they are and what they do.
I’m sure the latest victim of suicide in the lagoon has a family, and friends who may have an idea of his predicament. Let us be our brothers keepers; let us watch over one another and provide support morally, emotionally, socially etc, and whenever the need arises
Besides, the fact remains that, the man who commits suicide has chosen a direct entry to hell fire. Even if he prayed for forgiveness before he committed the dastardly act, he cannot find mercy because he has chosen to devalue the precious life God gave him and cast aspersions on God’s ability to save him. It is a very unfortunate way of exiting this world.
Life is full of troubles but no one problem is peculiar to you. We all are afflicted in one way or the other. According to Osward Wilde, “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” There is no amount of frustrations or hardship that is justifiable to commit suicide. Many people have been in more terrible situations and through hope, determination, courage and faith in God, they have surmounted their challenges and are today channels of blessing to their families and the world at large.
The truth is, there’s no mountain that you cannot climb; and there’s no river that cannot cross when you trust in God, and God alone. A favorite psalms reads, ” The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want…” (Psalm 23:1). The moment a man cast aspersions on the goodness of God, he is opened to attempt anything evil, even suicide. To such person, life becomes useless and winning life’s battle becomes impossible and irrelevant!
It is devilish to give up on life. It is ungodly to commit suicide! Every life is precious to God, and so He desires an intimate relationship that would help nourish and preserve our lives from the troubles of this life and from the pending calamities. The troubles of this life won’t get any better. As the earth approaches its end, the scriptures says, Men will faint from fear and anxiety over what is coming upon the earth, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken (Luke 21:26).
Since all these things must be, what manner of man you ought to be? You must have your anchor on the unchanging God. People will disappoint you, policies and procedures will fail you. But God cannot fail you no matter what betides. Connect with God, the source of life, and you will surmount the hardship of life.
Life is good. You are winning! Yes, we are winning!
https://yeswearewinning.com/2017/03/21/not-one-see-list-also-depressed/
GreatMark
by Indulge | Oct 14, 2017 | Uncategorized |
It was broad day light but to me it was night. My day was about to be turned to darkness. Everything would change within the twinkle of an eye. My dreams are shattering little by little… My name is Halima, I am the second of 8 children of my parents. And this is my story, a journey to self-actualization.
I had dreams of becoming an engineer. I had hoped to break out of the mold, and be a woman who would not be tied down by circumstances or become a liability. But my hopes were cut short by my dad. My wedding day has been fixed for middle of the year without my knowledge. I was just rounding up with my junior secondary school examination when my life turned upside down.
I got married to a man whose name I won’t disclose. He promised my brother scholarship and a business venture after school. My father got a brand new pickup van, which helped boost his agro-business. My family’s status changed in the twinkle of an eye. At 13 I was married!!
Let me spare you the gruesome details of my experience. But it is noteworthy that I suffered physically, mentally and emotionally. I had a child at age 15. She was beautiful. He married me because he wanted a female child. No one ever longed for a female child. What a contrast you would say!
She was his new love and because of her, he showed me so much love and affection. You all are wondering why I just had my first child at age 15? I lost my first child at age 14 due to immaturity; I wasn’t matured enough to carry a baby, let alone birth the baby.
But medical jettisoned because our culture permitted. It was the survival of the fittest; it was either I stayed alive and the child dies or I die and my child lives. The doctors saved mine instead of the baby. I cried for days and nights but the pain didn’t go away. I was only permitted to bear the pains for a while before I was forced to carry another pregnancy at the age of 17.
When Awa started showing signs of maturity at age 10, my husband would say weird things like, ‘in three years time; your dowry would be paid just like I did for your mother.’ I thought it was a joke, until I began to notice different men come in with gifts. She was just 12. I knew I couldn’t allow my child go through same fate as mine. I needed to act fast to prevent a re-ocurrence.
I woke one morning and my husband had travelled for business in a different state. He usually stayed away for 2 weeks before returning home. On this day, the first wife had gone to visit her sick mum. The second wife went to the market to ply her trade.
This was my clear chance of escape, I had thought. I packed all the monies and valuable jewelries I could lay my hands on.. And I ran as far as my legs could carry. I mean that both figurative and literally. I took the next available bus to the West. I had an aunty who had lived in the West since after her National Youth Service program. She had lived and worked there, and has been married for 20 years.
At 28, I and my child became class mates. I was attending an adult education program when she was preparing to write her high school exams. I was confident that my dreams would be fulfilled no matter what. I started a small business with the money I stole, rented an apartment and enrolled my self and Awa in a public school.
Today am a graduate of chemical engineering, I own my firm and my daughter is a proud medical doctor and she owns her own hospital in the western part of the country. She is happily married to a man from the western part of the country too. I never remarried, but am happy and satisfied at the outcome of my life. My day light finally did not end in darkness.
The escape of HALIMA from a life she was forced to live was a journey to self-actualization. Your attitude in life determines your altitude. According to Kahil Gibran, your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.It is not the challenges that destroys a man but the attitude in the midst of such challenges.
The excuse that your environment has plunged you into this unfortunate situation, and that there’s no way out is not tenable and a lie! You can change your situation by self determination and ultimately by your absolute faith in God who has made you for his good pleasure. You are not created a mediocre and as such don’t stay down!
Where’s Halima? HALIMA ran away from slavery into a life of freedom where she can pursue her dream. You might need to leave your environment for you to make appreciable progress in life. Or perhaps what you need is a change of mentality and attitude. You need to stop lying to yourself about your situation. You can still achieve your aspirations even at this age .
You can break out of he mold; you can fulfill your dreams. You can win! You are winning! Yes, we are winning!
GreatMark
by Indulge | Oct 11, 2017 | Uncategorized |
Life was everything I could ask for; a rich father, two loving sisters and my beautiful and caring mother. We never lacked a thing; life was a bed of roses, so to speak. I didn’t have to sweat or whine over anything. I’d though my life was defined by this until much later. I never even thought I would be writing this Kina story at all. I had always thought everything was going to go smoothly and if at all I was going to share any story it was going to be like the Cinderella’s story.
Every adolescents always had a maximum of five days monthly menstruation, but mine was different. When it got very worrisome, I was flown abroad for medical checkup and was diagnosed with menorrhagia. I usually have my menstrual period a maximum of six times in a year (that is every other month). Although, I was cool with it because I didn’t like the pain that accompanied the monthly flow anyway.
On this faithful day it was time to be on my period, but unlike my previous experiences, this particular flow didn’t stop after seven days. I had thought it was because of my plenty sugar intake because I attended two of my friends birthday party and I had lots of cakes and sweets. This flow continued for weeks and then one month, and then the second month.
I began to look pale even though I managed to keep my parents and friends from knowing what i was going through. When i couldn’t bear it alone, I had to open up to my mum who took me to the family hospital. To my amazement, I couldn’t get a treatment that would immediately stop the flow as I had expected. All I got was plenty prescription drugs.
So, I started using drugs to start and stop my monthly flow, and whenever it came I was always stained or smelling, It was really bad, trust me! I had to stop going to school. My parent got private teachers who came home regularly to teach me and prepared me for my entrance examinations. I was only15 years old, and I could imagine my life and dreams fading away little by little.
What could I have done wrong, I’d thought crying with no consolations. Oh… I forgot to add that sometimes the drug won’t work and I would be on for a whole month or more. I was shattered. My family tried so much to make me feel loved and happy but it wasn’t what I needed. I had this vacuum that needed filling. I was like the biblical woman with the issue of blood. I thought mine would never have an end. I became hopeless to say the least.
As I was trying to adjust to the changes in my life; guess what, my dad passed away. I can’t even start narrating that story because it still feels like a dream. He was happy and well one minute and the next he was gone. I felt alone; I could predict the next possible action but it was looking like it was going to take forever for it to happen. Anyways, it finally happened.
A month after my dad’s burial; his family came and drove us out of the house and took over his possessions. Guest what, they said my dad had no male child, as such my mum and I are not entitled to inherit his possessions. My uncles were the favorites, and so my Dad’s properties became a family house for his siblings. My mum was still in shock of his death when all these was happenings, so you can imagine her frustrations.
I cried for days, but what was the use of the tears. He was dead and buried already. We moved back to my mum’s family house somewhere in the western part of the country. All was going well; we had to change to public school, our meal became 001 or 100 or 010. We settled in fine thinking the bad days are over, little did I know that more was on the way. Two years later my mum died.
At this time Ella was in 200 level; I just finished my high school and Ceci was just in her second year..Okay so Ella and Ceci are the two loving sisters I talked about in the beginning. Ella adjusted quickly to these changes but it took Ceci a much longer time to adjust to the environment. She couldn’t get hold of the fact that she wasn’t part of the high and mighty anymore and there was no dad to shower her with attention. It was pretty difficult for her so she started seeking for attention from people no matter whom they are; male or female, old or young.
So, after mummy’s burial we were all alone in this world. Again, I expected mummy’s death. Don’t ask me how or why? It was logical. We needed to survive. Ella and I picked up a side job so we could stay alive. Though it wasn’t helping much we could survive on it. We threaded on, we lived on in spite of the hardship.
I got an admission into the university. Ella was in her final year already. As I was thinking that everything was coming back into place, another thing occurred. Ella was raped by her boss at work. This worsened everything. The only thing that was restraining Ella from prostitution was the oath we swore to our dad; to keep our virginity for our husbands. But now it was gone. It was the dawn of a new day for her… everything was gone! She swore to make guys pay for her boss’s mistake. I didn’t know how to prevent her not to.
10 years after my continual blood flow started, it was as if as the years went by the case worsened, drugs stopped working long time ago. My years in school was a living hell. The school identified me and defined me by my situation. It was worse than being a thief or a cultist. My gist spread abroad the whole campus. At the beginning it was terrible but now in my final year I wasn’t bothered anymore, I had so much joy and peace. I was going to graduate with a second class upper.
This was how it happened. It was a cold Friday morning and I had an 8 a.m lectures. After the class ended I was on my way back home (I didn’t leave on campus because of my ailment and financial reasons) when it started raining heavily. I had an umbrella but it was of no use. The rain was terrible. I ran into a building to keep myself warm until it would stopped raining.
I was already dripping blood as usual. As I looked up to my surrounding still lost in thought I realized that everyone’s attention was on me. Unknowing to me, I took shelter in a church or a fellowship building. I felt so much anger and pain and shame on the inside of me. I was angry at God for allowing so much evil to happen to me and my family. What could we have done to deserve all these sufferings, I;d thought.
I tried to leave but it was as if an invisible chain held me captive on same spot. Suddenly, the thought go my childhood flashed back. I used to go to church because I was forced to. Dad was a religious man, and he wouldn’t allow any one stay back at home on Sundays. But this time it was different. The look on the faces of my spectators wasn’t that of compulsion. I saw happiness and bold smiles as if they were collecting gift or it was party.
I was spurred back to reality with these words “Your situation or circumstances doesn’t define you, neither does fame; wealth; poverty or other earthly possessions. Christ defines you; Christ is your hope of glory!!!” It felt like these words were spoken by God Himself; it was loud and clear. It revived me. I knew I was in for a change!
This was enough reason why I shouldn’t leave the church, I reasoned. I wanted to understand more. Like what was the meaning of the statement “Christ defines my life!?”. As I continued to pondered on this the service came to a close. The rain stopped immediately the goodness was shared. I waited till everyone left. I wanted to meet the preacher for him to expatiate. I wanted to understand more.
I finally met the preacher an he explained to me in details. I left the building with some hope and felt the joy I never had felt in my life. The issues of my issues of blood wasn’t in anyway important to me like the ecstasy of being assured that my life is only defined by my relationship with God and not my problems.
I got back to my room, freshened up, and went straight to bed, anticipating an amazing restful night. It was only the next morning I observed that I was dry; the flow had stopped! I didn’t believe it at first, I thought I was dreaming. My dear friend, that was how i was delivered from a 10-year constant menstrual flow. And more than that God gave my life a new meaning, and made me a glory among those who had rejected me.
I write this story to commemorate the International day of the Girl child. Since 2012, 11 October has been marked as the International Day of the Girl. The day aims to highlight and address the needs and challenges girls face, while promoting girls’ empowerment and the fulfillment of their human rights.
My friend, your story too can change. You can find your life meaning and purpose through a flourishing relationship with God. You are well defined by Christ. You must know that “Everyone gets knows down but you must define yourself by the day you get up.” Like, me you can say, “I am winning”! You are winning! Yes, we are winning!
Story by Titilola Ogunwale
GreatMark
